


I'll Be Here For You

by Cinnabunni



Series: I'll Always Be There (AKA Big Brother Zen) [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Big Brother Zen | Ryu Hyun, Brotherly Love, Brotp, Depressed Kim Yoosung, Fluff, Gen, Hair Dyeing, He and Yoosung have one of the best brotherly relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mother Hen Zen | Ryu Hyun, Pre-Canon, Protective Zen | Ryu Hyun, Suicidal Thoughts, Zen is the best big brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27811009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnabunni/pseuds/Cinnabunni
Summary: After a year of Rika's death, Yoosung still isn't himself. Zen pays him a visit to see if he's okay.
Relationships: Kim Yoosung & Zen | Ryu Hyun
Series: I'll Always Be There (AKA Big Brother Zen) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034877
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	I'll Be Here For You

No one in the RFA was dealing well with Rika’s death. Everyone was so shocked and hurt, it happened so suddenly. Her suicide was a surprise to them all. Yoosung took it the hardest. Of course he did, he was the closest to her; she was his cousin, after all. The death had hit them all so hard, but they all slowly moved on, continuing their lives. Sure, Jumin probably moved on a bit too fast in Zen’s opinion, and he had a feeling that V still wasn’t over it, but it was a little over a year now, and everyone started to move on and continue everything.

Everyone except for Yoosung.

Yoosung just...stopped. Of course, he felt like his whole world fell apart when Rika passed; his world was still broken. Nothing moved. His house got dirty, his grades were going down--and it was only the first semester of his first year of college--and he played LoLoL more and more throughout the night, to keep himself from thinking. At times he would even forget to sleep. But he didn’t mind not sleeping, he got to avoid dreams that had Rika in it.

Yoosung just stopped moving. Nothing changed in his life. It hurt too much to think about it all, so he didn’t.

So, Zen arrived at the apartment complex with his motorcycle. He thankfully wasn’t recognized; there weren’t too many people outside the complex, and besides, he wasn’t too popular yet. He did have one lady murmur, staring at him, but was too nervous to go up to him and asked if he was really Zen. So thankfully he wasn’t distracted by his main goal.

Finding Yoosung’s apartment, Zen gave a firm knock. He could hear a faint shift inside of the room, the smallest of noise, but nobody answered. He knocked again; louder this time. There was no noise.

“Yoosung?” Zen called out, through the door. “You in there?” Still nothing. He gave a small huff, and checked the doorknob, to see if maybe it was left unlocked. He frowned when he found that it was. Entering the apartment, he closed and locked the door behind him. “Yoosung?”

“Here,” he quietly called out. Zen followed where his voice came from, finding Yoosung laying on his side, on his bedroom floor. The room was a mess; the shades were halfway pulled down, the afternoon sun pouring in. His bed was a mess, sheets everywhere, with his large blanket spilling off of the bed. Food wrappers were littered around, and his desk was even messier. His headphones were still plugged in, laying on his keyboard, as videos played on the screen. Yoosung’s eyes were red-rimmed, as he held his legs close to his chest. His hair had certainly gotten longer, more fluffier, his dark brown hair went every which-way, as if he hadn’t brushed it in days.

“Hey, Zen,” Yoosung quietly greeted, not looking up. “How’d you get in here?”

“Your door was left unlocked,” he answered. “Which is unsafe, Yoosung. Who knows how many creeps and weirdos probably live here? Something could’ve happened to you!” Yoosung just gave a shrug. Zen gave a sigh. “Yoosung, we’re worried for you.  _ I’m  _ worried about you.”

Yoosung didn’t say anything. Zen sat down on the floor next to him. “Yoosung, you haven’t been outside of your dirty apartment for a whole year; who haven’t even logged in onto the group chat for a whole month!”

“Not true,” Yoosung mumbled, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “I go outside for school and groceries. I log on to see what’s happening with you guys.”

“Yoosung, look at this place! You’re living in filth!” Yoosung gave another shrug. 

“Doesn’t matter.” Zen gave a sigh. Grabbing him by the shoulders, he forced Yoosung to sit up right, in front of him. He held onto his shoulders, staring him down.

“Yoosung, please listen to me. You can’t keep living like this. You’re barely even living! This needs to stop.”

Yoosung stared back at him; dull, almost lifeless purple eyes against Zen’s bright, fiery red eyes. He didn’t say anything. “Yoosung, are you even listening to me? Answer me!”

Yoosung shrugged him off. “I don’t care what you have to say, Zen!” he snapped. “I’m fine by myself. If you’re here just to yell at me then you can just leave.” Zen gave a sigh, calming himself.

“Yoosung, you know that’s why I’m not here.”

“Then why? Why are you here?”

“Because, you need to move on!” he blurted out. Well, it seems like he was going to have to roll with this one. “Yoosung, listen--it’s been a year since Rika’s death. I know how badly it hit you, believe me I do. I still haven’t completely moved on myself. But you need to do  _ something.  _ You can’t stay like this forever. The world keeps moving, Yoosung, and you need to start moving as well.” Yoosung stared at him for a few moments, tears filling his eyes.

“Rika...I just don’t know what to do. She was basically my whole world--she made me keep going, to go into vet school. She made me believe in myself because she believed in me in a way no one else did. And she’s gone. Just like that. I just--” Yoosung stopped himself, covering his mouth to quiet a sob as tears started to roll down. Seeing this, Zen immediately pulled Yoosung into a hug.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he said, rubbing circles into Yoosung’s back, “you’re alright, Yoosung.” Yoosung wrapped his arms around him tightly, as he tried to hold back sobs. “Everything’s gonna be alright, okay?”

“I miss her so much,” he hiccuped, “Rika was the only one who believed in me. I feel so lost without her. I don’t know what to do.” Yoosung quieted his sobs, getting out of the hug, as he rubbed his eyes with his sleeve. "I have no idea what to do anymore without her. I just--I can't keep going without her, you know? It's so hard, I don't think I can live without her. Sometimes I just wonder if I should just join her, to see her again--"

_ "Yoosung,"  _ Zen interrupted, grabbing onto his shoulders tightly, making Yoosung tense from the pain. "Don't say that. Don't you  _ ever _ say that. Yoosung, promise me that you'll never do anything like Rika did. I can't lose another person in my life. You--you're like a brother to me, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you too.

"So  _ don't  _ say that. Don't ever say that. Promise me you won’t hurt yourself or anything like.” He stared Yoosung down, who had tears welling in his eyes again. He gave a small shake. “Yoosung,  _ promise me.”  _

“Aright, alright, I promise. Now let go of me, you’re hurting me.” Zen gave a small apology as he let go of Yoosung. Yoosung gave a small sigh, and got up, only to immediately lay down onto his bed.

“Maybe we should go and do something. Just take this off our minds. What do you think?” Yoosung gave a small nod. “Alright then, what do you wanna do? It’ll just be us.” They both knew that it wouldn’t just be them, that Zen’s fans who recognized would tag along as well and talk to him all the time, but Yoosung still appreciated it.

He played with his hair a little bit. “I mean, I always wanted to dye my hair. Maybe a blonde color. Rika always did say that I would look good as a blonde…”

“Yeah, I think you would. Besides, who’ll attract more ladies with a new hair color, other than just a dull brown, don’t you think?”

“...Yeah, I suppose so.”

“That’s the spirit!” Getting up, Zen headed for the door. “You stay here, I’ll go and buy the dye. Be back around an hour or so!”

~~~   
  
When Zen came back, he had found Yoosung sleeping. He wondered how long it had been since he had a proper night’s rest. Putting the box of bleach and hair dye on the table, he went over and shook Yoosung gently on the shoulder. Yoosung shifted, giving a small groan, as he moved the blanket over his head.

“Few more minutes, mom…” he mumbled sleepily. Zen gave a small smile. 

“Sorry Yoosung, but you gotta wake up now. Also I’m pretty sure your mom isn’t even in town right now.” Yoosung gave a grumble, then took the covers off.

“Oh, Zen, you’re back,” he said with a yawn. “How long was I out?”

“I just got back,” Zen answered, as Yoosung rubbed the tiredness out of his eyes. “Wanna start dyeing your hair then?”   
  
“In a few minutes,” he mumbled, stretching his arms, “I need to wake up first. But you can set it up.”

Giving a nod, he headed for the dining area, and started to take out all the items from the box, reading through the instructions carefully. After a few minutes, Yoosung came in, much more awake now. He gave Zen a smile. “Alright, where do we start?”

Zen was careful to follow the instructions to a T, not wanting to hurt or damage Yoosung’s hair. He carefully and slowly started to bleach it, carefully wrapping his hair with the foil (he was surprised by how much hair Yoosung had; so much volume to it). He decided to bleach just all of his hair, roots to ends. He cringed when he saw split ends, and thought that maybe they should’ve gotten a haircut first--oh well, not like they can back out now. After waiting a while, he unwrapped Yoosung’s hair, and was completely surprised by how different his hair looked. He then started the process of dying it a darker blonde color, to look more natural. He never showed what he looked like to Yoosung, now matter how many times he asked.

“I think we’re done,” Zen announced, after washing out all the excess dye from Yoosung’s hair.

“Really?” Yoosung asked in excitement. “Get me a hand mirror, I wanna see!” Zen smiled as he grabbed the mirror on the table, and handed it to Yoosung. “Woah!” Yoosung gave a bright smile and look of amazement as he stared at his newly dyed hair, running his hand through the wet hair. “Maybe I should get a hair clip at some point…” he said to himself, brushing the hair out of his eyes. “Zen, this is amazing!”

“I’m glad you like it,” he said, and ruffled his hair. “Blonde looks good on you, Yoosung.”

He gave a small laugh. “Thanks, Zen. Thank you for doing all of this.”

“Of course. I’m like your big brother, it’s my job to help you when you’re upset.” He gave Yoosung a hug. “Just promise me that if you’re ever feeling down like this, you’ll call me, okay? Don’t ever do anything rash. I’m just a phone call away.”

Yoosung gave a smile, and returned the hug. “Alright, Zen. I’ll be sure to call you, I promise.”

“Good.” Checking the time, Zen gave a sigh. “I suppose I should get going now; rehearsals are gonna start soon, and the drive’s kinda long from here.”

“Of course! Sorry I kept you here for so long.”

“No, don’t even apologize, Yoosung, it’s fine.” He gave a smile, and started to head over for the door. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Alright. See ya later!” When Zen left, Yoosung gave a smile to himself, and went to sit on his bed. Dying his hair and seeing Zen surely made his day, hell, his whole week. It had been a while since he had so much fun, it was nice to smile again. He wasn’t sure if he would be calling him often--he didn’t want to bother Zen--but he seemed pretty serious about calling him when he’s upset...Maybe calling him wouldn’t be too bad. 

He gave a small smile to himself. Maybe things will start to look up.

**Author's Note:**

> I am alive!! So after writing one fanfic, and going through two different fandoms, I am back. I forgot how much I loved this game and this fandom, and especially these characters. Mainly Zen and Yoosung if you couldn't tell. There's no BROTP fics with Yoosung's and Zen's brotherly relationship, so I guess I'll have to do it myself lmao
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this fic! Kudos and comments are always appreciated. Thank you!


End file.
